A/B Conversations: CFP® Your Way Out Of It – Real Advice on Building Wealth & Retirement Planning

Ep #151 - Modeling Generosity for the Next Generation

• Benjamin Haas I Haas Financial Group

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When we think about leaving a legacy, we should think about what that means holistically. Because a legacy is not just what we pass down financially, but what we model every day through generosity, values, and habits. In this episode, Adam and Ben share client stories and practical examples of how parents and grandparents can invite kids and grandkids into giving, from simple family traditions to more intentional tools, and why those moments often leave a bigger impact than dollars alone.


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[00:00:00] Ben Haas: Hi everyone, and welcome to AB Conversations, where we will help you CFP your way out of it. A podcast where you get into the minds of a couple certified financial planners on how we think and feel about everyday financial planning questions, and what should really matter most to you. A healthier financial life starts now.

[00:00:28] Ben Haas: So this time of year I would say following up on Thanksgiving, giving Tuesday, just the holiday season in general it's definitely a time of year where charitable giving and generosity it's front of mind, not just for ourselves and what we try to do here and what we practice here. Things that we value, but certainly with a lot of our clients.

So I think we want to kind of put out there into the world today without having to do this in a big technical financial way. Just how modeling, generosity is such an important thing for a lot of our clients. If we say that they are to kind of align money to their purpose in life, we often hear, you know, spending that with people that care about causes they care about that's really important to them.

So let's just keep it light today, Adam. Talk a little bit about just generosity this time of year and how that as a theme can be passed down generation to generation.

[00:01:24] Adam Werner: Yeah. So as you said, this is less about the technical side, right? The estate planning side of things or the legacy planning side of things, or, you know, do I use a trust or all of these different ways of going about it?

This is more the more of the nitty gritty details of just on the ground floor, right? How do people live? How do they give? And we want to, and invite others into that process, right? We're kind of viewing this through the lens of a lot of the clients that we work with, are parents and or grandparents, and just being able to be the model for that next generation.

The lead by example. So just being able to for those kids and grandkids, hopefully learning more by seeing what our clients, what we are doing more than do, as I say, not as I do. Right? That's a big one. So, you know, whether it's giving up time or talent resources or something like that, right?

That next generation it's, I think it's hard, especially in today's day and age, it feels difficult to just build that habit from nothing. Right? So, a lot of the people that we work with are charitably inclined, so that's a very easy bar to clear. And maybe we'll get into some of these examples.

You know, it doesn't have to be the big, you know, grand. We're gonna donate a wing of a hospital. Right? I'm trying to go as grand as I could, I could think in my head, but do it more granularly and I don't wanna spoil maybe some of the stories that you have to share, but I think just being able to maybe give some of those really easy examples of here's what we've heard, or maybe some personal examples that, that we can share of just clearing that initial hurdle and getting kids and grandkids kind of involved in the process and just get their wheels turning. Maybe a little bit that isn't as natural.

[00:03:15] Ben Haas: Yeah. And when we say it's kind of the time of the year to do that you know, exercises and gratitude, I mean, maybe that's a little bit harder for a younger generation, but the concept of giving Tuesday, you know, if we're just talking about financial, we were super honored that clients participated with us this year. I think we got maybe close to 50 different organizations that our clients cared about. You know, in, include your children, grandchildren in that next year. Let them know that's something we're doing as a thank you and our way of giving back.

But I think we see it a lot this time of year, whether it's an angel tree project, whether they're Toys for Tots, there's so many big organizations that do that. Yeah. I don't think it's uncommon, you know, salvation Army to bring your kids or grandkids into something like that.

Mm-hmm.

[00:04:01] Adam Werner: Yeah. So to that end, I think just involving them in some of that decision making process or even just asking the questions. Right? And I, and just in prep for this I feel like I need to go home and do some of this with my own children, right? Just what causes matter to them? What do they even know about you know, giving back or being charitable. Is that just money to them? Is that donating time to them? Like, just again, for that esp and I guess we're looking through the lens of for our clientele, the retiree group. It's, I think it's more on the grandchildren side of things. Right? Getting them kind of in, ingrained in the charitable thought process.

But even, something very small can just start that thought process.

[00:04:46] Ben Haas: And I've heard that, to give, to put some cash in an envelope and give it to the grandchild and say here's the challenge, right? If you've ever given a gift in your life, maybe you've been super excited because you know what that gift is and giving it to a sibling, a cousin, you know, you're just really excited for them to receive it because you know they're gonna love it.

Like, that is at its root, like the joy that should be giving, knowing that you're doing something great for somebody else. So, put some cash in an envelope. And that's where, to your point, it's not the wing of a hospital. It's not thousands of dollars out of an IRA it's 25, it's 50 bucks in an envelope and challenge that child.

Think about, you know, where are your opportunities in the next couple weeks to do something impactful, either for an organization or maybe even better, you know, open your eyes to what's happening around you at school. Right?

I love the concept of the red car theory, that if I said to him, if I said to Adam, you know, how many red cars did you pass on your way driving into, you know, 1 72 West Maine, today? You probably don't know, but if I said I, I'd give you money to tell me how many you saw tomorrow, you'd be paying attention to it. So, it may be a way to not only encourage that act of giving to a grandchild, but say, Hey, now you have this 50 bucks and you're tasked with giving it away before the end of the year, who around you might that serve? You know, the kid whose shoes are all I'm using.

Very generic examples here, right? The kid that needs a new pair of shoes, you know? Mm-hmm. What are those things that you could do? The kid that doesn't have a lot in the lunchbox. Is there something, bring that story to mom, to dad, to a grandparent, and let's figure out how we can take this gift and model just being generous, doing the right thing.

[00:06:29] Adam Werner: Yeah. And even, even just thinking about like the different ways of doing it. I've heard clients share before, and again, I think it is through the lens of helping with grandchildren, it's helping them save different from this conversation. But I think the thought process is the same. Like we want to instill the good habits, right?

The good financial habits. And if that is, if somebody has a time job in high school, it's making sure you're setting aside a certain amount of those dollars, but matching that. Treat your grandchild as if like, that's their 401k. They're not getting a match on just what they're accumulating in the bank, but my incentive as the mentor in this situation is, Hey, if you're gonna save $500, whatever you save, I'm going to match that and just show the power of that. But I think that can, that same idea can filter here too, right?

I don't know if it needs to be a specific number, but just the idea of putting some of that responsibility on the child or the grandchild to do some research, find causes that matter to you, come up with what maybe it is donating their own money, but then coming behind that with a, but we will match that or we'll do twice that, or whatever that is, just to get that mechanism kind of moving and just putting the child in that spot to just think about it probably differently than they have before.

[00:07:47] Ben Haas: And I think what's so great about that, you know, thinking about what you just said. He, here's what I would want to make sure is the, a huge takeaway, and I'm not summarizing the podcast. We're like two minutes in, but I think so many things around money, we just, we keep to ourselves, right? And we think that to talk about money sometimes is like, not the right thing to do.

Yeah. But especially with this idea of generosity. I can think of so many different clients that go but that's just the right thing to do, so I'll do it. Make it known though that you're doing it, like model that with your grandchildren. Yeah. It doesn't have to be that you're doing this in secret.

Right, right. I would highly encourage them to know, and not that you're doing it to you know, brag or anything of that nature. Look at the extra money we have to give away. No, it is to model that this is a very healthy behavior that actually to your point, is instilling a very good habit.

Not only emotionally, but just socially, you know, with your money as you age, as you earn your own money to make sure that giving back is a part of that.

[00:08:46] Adam Werner: Well, and yeah, not only that, but I think the, it's the important part, depending how old the child is in this instance too, they may not have the impactful dollars, right.

To say, I'm going to donate to this charity. So just having like the seed money from the parent or grandparent to just allow them to even explore what's possible. I'm trying to think to back to when I was a kid, like, I had jobs as a kid, but that was not like the first thing in my mind of, oh, how am I going to give this away?

I was a, you know, I was a normal child. I wanted things. I didn't have money. I wanted to accumulate things. But if there was somebody there kind of guiding me through that, then that, it just, again, I think it just, it opens it up for the opportunity for the discussion, or at least again, to just pass along some of that thought process, some of those values, some of those habits.

[00:09:34] Ben Haas: I think it's great relationship building too, right? For sure. I think what's gonna be interesting to me, you know, if my kids are given that opportunity, Hey, here's an envelope and by the end of the year, let's think about something that you would feel good about giving to if it's not an individual situation.

You know, I'd be super curious. I mean, you know, my Lucas, he's just out there, you know, he is, and he's very conversational. You know, what is he into, if you said, Hey where do you want this to serve? Maybe it's going to be, you know, animals. Maybe it's going to be gosh, he's into like, space programs right now.

Who knows what he says, but mm-hmm. When you think about what matters most to our clients. Again, we're to ask that question, like, how do we align our money to something that's gonna feel good? Mm-hmm. Think about you being the source of being able to provide some excitement then, you know, to, to those grandchildren.

[00:10:18] Adam Werner: Yeah. Yeah. So, maybe to pivot a little bit, we have an a specific client example in my head to this is to a much grander degree, but family has a donor advised fund where I will say the pat the patriarch and the matriarch of this family passed away. It funded this donor-advised fund, and now the siblings, the children get together and are essentially, they are required to now figure out where are we giving some of these dollars every year. Right. And it is the, and I don't know, I don't wanna say it's a forced exercise but there are rules and requirements around that. But it, the experience that he shared with us it's just, what they get out of that. The people the clients here in this instance, they get out of that process is just so rewarding.

Right. And we know that, and maybe this goes back to my comment on, you know, when I was a kid that just, it wasn't even in my brain that experience of feeling, right? Because I, again, I didn't have the resources to just give away, but just getting that. That initial feeling, right? You kind of wanna get 'em hooked on.

It's better to give than to receive. But even something.

[00:11:25] Ben Haas: Serotonin, dopamine, like it's a thing.

[00:11:28] Adam Werner: Yes. I don't wanna say something as simple as a donor-advised fund, because we know that, again, that's a much grander scale of giving, but just that thought exercise, it doesn't have to be that. Right. The family can pull dollars together and we have X number of dollars. How do we wanna disperse it? Where do we want to give it? And just open again, just open up that conversation to that, that charitable giving side of things. And yeah the serotonin and the dopamine hits of doing something good.

[00:11:54] Ben Haas: Yeah. And that's, I guess that's kind of what I meant on, you're gonna learn a lot about each other too, on what causes matter to each other and yeah.

How you want to go about helping. And even there, you think of a donor advised fund or charitable trust as these like big entities and big irrevocable decisions, but it doesn't have to be that way that donor advised fund it can be a couple bucks. Yeah. But now I'm imagining, you know, to your point on a much smaller scale, you know.

Maybe this is pie in the sky, but you know, my future family sitting around the Thanksgiving table and going, what are we thankful for this year? And how are we gonna show that with money coming out of a joint pooled account that, you know, we've thrown some dollars in to invest, to model good behavior, but also model generosity.

[00:12:34] Adam Werner: Yeah. And I think, I mean, ultimately maybe the biggest thing that we would want to see kind of passed along, or at least. The lesson it's the why, right? From the parent or the grandparent or whoever. In this instance is, we're doing this, but it's the why behind why we're doing this that I think is maybe the most important piece of this. Yeah. Because that really does come down to the values you know, of a family and those habits that, that come along, but, getting to the root of that why is so important and I'll share this little story. We had a client, not that long ago. And I'm, I get goosebumps every time I think about it, but he shared with us, not only did he document his five whys in life, right, financially here's what I would financially as part of it, but just the, these are, I'm in retirement. Here's what is important to me, and like these are my motivators in life.

That, that blew me away. I loved that so, so much to the point where not only did he just share that with us, which I feel like not many people on this planet have probably done that, but he went through that exercise with his kids, and the grandkids. Again, just to kind of instill this is what's important to me.

And again, I think just leading by that example hopefully sparks the thought in your child or your grandchild of, oh, there, I, I didn't even consider thinking about that, right, and just again, just start starting the wheels turning and hopefully just bettering that next generation as well.

[00:14:10] Ben Haas: Well, and that's where some of the storytelling can rest in that, right?

That to your point, when you're a kid, you really just don't have the perspective of these things. But you know, now I'm imagining his grandkids really hearing the story of this is where we came from. This is what we came from. And it's in some ways a again, an exercise in gratitude. Like there's hard work that's gone into saving.

There's hard work and sacrifice that's gone into the process of accumulating and now being able to give away. You know, so here's what we feel, what I feel we're responsible to, you know, to the generations before us that you know, kind of paved the way for us. And that's what I think makes it so touching because, yes, I realize there are dollar figures that will exchange hands because of that generosity. Mm-hmm. But I imagine those grandkids just now having a much clearer picture of, oh my gosh, yeah this is why he is the way that he is. Why they are the way that they are in a beautiful and generous way.

[00:15:07] Adam Werner: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's where it just ultimately boils down to that legacy is not always so much about the dollars, right? It is about the values, it is about the direction, it is about those habits. And hopefully just leaving the world a better place as corny as that may sound coming outta my mouth.

Ultimately that's I think a lot of people that's all we want to be able to do on this planet, right, is just leave it better than we found it. And this is just a great way to continue to instill that in future generations without it feeling too heavy.

[00:15:41] Ben Haas: Yeah. Like I can probably end with that white envelope story that I told you I would tell. Mm-hmm. Because it, it comes up this time of year too, when we just think about the materialistic nature of like Christmas sometimes and gift giving you know, all that hustle and bustle and this white envelope story of people haven't heard it, it's about a gentleman, his name was Mike.

He hated all that. Like, he hated all the shopping, he hated the hustle and bustles, you know. People are gonna buy me ties that I'll never wanna wear. Like that's what the kids do because it's on sale at Kohl's. Whatever. I'm embellishing the story a little bit. But he was a wrestling coach for his kid, and they went into this wrestling match and they were playing against this other school that was probably just a poor church organization sponsored school.

Mm-hmm. So here his kids had all this wonderful equipment, fancy uniforms, and they just kicked the crap outta this other school and they had no equipment and he just felt so bad about it. And his wife decided that year that she was gonna settle this and very quietly, instead of having him, you know, bought ties with the kids doing those things, she went out and bought all this equipment for that school, donated it mm-hmm.

Kind of anonymously in, in his name and just wrote that down on a card and put it in the Christmas tree. So that Christmas morning he was able to open that. Now as the story goes, he got cancer and died two years later.

[00:17:00] Adam Werner: Mm-hmm.

[00:17:00] Ben Haas: And she was just, of course, emotionally wrecked by this to the point where, you know, the kids were a little bit older and she just didn't do a good job putting up decorations that year.

Mm-hmm. It wasn't really celebrating the season. And sure enough, when, when she comes downstairs Christmas morning, there's three envelopes in the tree. Each one of the kids had done one of the same things to honor their dad, and you just think about the power that kind of came from doing the right thing and being generous that time of year. That was clearly a very personal thing for their family.

But just I think to share those stories and share how you can impact other people in a huge way is something a lot of our clients tell us is important to them. So. Model it, do it. You know, let's find those little ways to do it. And again, it doesn't need to be with a charitable gift from your IRA that you call us.

Mm-hmm. And tell us you want to do in November. Mm-hmm. Put some money in a wide envelope and see what your kids or grandkids do with it.

[00:17:57] Adam Werner: Yeah. Yeah. I guess the point is it's perfectly fine to start small, and in fact, it's probably better to start there and be able to build on

that over time. It's a much easier pathway to instilling some of those values and those habits in the younger generation.

Thank you for sharing that story. That was, that was touching.

[00:18:16] Ben Haas: Deep breath. All right.

[00:18:17] Adam Werner: That's a tough one.

[00:18:19] Ben Haas: I say Merry Christmas, but happy holidays to everyone out there. I hope everyone got a little something out of a little bit of sharing here.

[00:18:26] Adam Werner: Yes. And happy and healthy New Year.

[00:18:29] Ben Haas: Can't believe it's here.

Yeah. All right. Thank you. We'll do this, we'll do this again in 2026.

[00:18:35] Adam Werner: Okay.

[00:18:37] Ben Haas: See you.

[00:18:38] Adam Werner: Bye.

[00:18:45] Ben Haas: Hey everyone, Adam and I really appreciate you tuning in. Please note that the opinions we voiced in the show are for general information only, and are not intended to provide specific recommendations for any individual. To determine which strategies or investments may be most appropriate for you, consult with your attorney, your accountant, and financial advisor, or tax advisor prior to making any decisions or investing. Thanks for listening.